if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
