somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
