I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
