no, he came in my armpit
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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