pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
