you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
