He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I love you.
Bad choice
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
