addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
