Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
