Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
