Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
