piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
