Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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