I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
