Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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