He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
