So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
