meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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