You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just threw up on my dentist
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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