Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
