VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
