my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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