Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
