dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
