I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
