remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
