He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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