His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
