I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
