Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
