White coat. Heels.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
