Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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