So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
