Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
