so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
