hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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