After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
