Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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