i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
