Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
