cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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