Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
honey bunches of taint.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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