I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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