Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
