Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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