We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
