shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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