Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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