I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
