he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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