just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
